I personally feel that my generation has a lot of pressure and expectations put onto us by society, family & friends and ourselves. This can be good for some people, some thrive off pressure to succeed. However the majority don’t enjoy endless raising of expectations.
Living in this type of society can make people, myself included, feel pressured to please. Whether that is how I look, what I do for a job, what clothes I wear, how much money I earn, who I should be friends with etc. These pressures don’t just affect you at the time they are applied but they crop up at the weirdest times. I can be absolutely fine and then comments or goals or tasks crop into my head and I panic or stress.
I worry that I’m the only that does this. I also worry that I become a pestering mess when this happens. My way of coping with these episodes of sheer panic and stress by over-loading myself with shit to do, isn’t really consistent. Sometimes I tend to sit alone and become internally frazzled, I will probably either sit and wallow in self-pity or find a distraction. My other thing I tend to do is pine for company and either cuddle my boyfriend or vent it all out until I feel better.
Both these options are fine! It is okay to be SAD! or upset or confused or angry or whatever you’re feeling. I used to apologise for being ’emotional’ but if I wasn’t ’emotional’ then I wouldn’t be a human being. Emotions we feel can change all the time and no one really knows what these feelings are or why we get them but we do and we mustn’t punish ourselves for feeling them. Some people like myself feel emotions on quite a magnified level, everything is blown way out of proportion most of the time. This is obviously something I should work on, for myself not for anyone else! However for now I know that my brain is just doing its job. It knows when I am sad and it rides it. It knows when I am angry and it rides it. Your body is made to do these things so you can do it.
If I am ever having a sad moment or day or week I do find it hard to take a step out and look at myself and tell myself its okay. But it is.
I know that people are doing exams at school right now. When I did my exams at school I found myself listening to other peoples pressures and putting them on myself, when I am the one in control of my future and it is for my benefit not theirs. If you are doing exams right now or have any other pressures going on in your life that are being inflicted by a parent, teacher or peer. I would advice talking o that person saying you don’t need them to be so pressuring, they may not even realise they are doing it. You know how you work and succeed and it’s within your power to make sure your happy with what you’re doing. And most importantly doing it for you!
I am currently in a rather rollercoastery (not sure that is a word but never mind) period of my life with everything in my future being rather up in the air. So these moments of internally frazzled brain and continues venting to a poor boyfriend are becoming quite regular. But I know it is just my brain coping with what is going on around me.
Over the years with having a problem with anxiety I have come to realise that I have more than enough stuff to think about without letting in all that nonsense that other people try to impose on me.
Sorry if this is ranting or venting in a blog post but I just want to reassure people, that it is totally normal. And also for some personal reassurance that I am doing okay and I’m not the only who feels this way. I would love to talk more about my experience with anxiety if that was something people wanted.
Stay Safe and Happy 🙂